THEATER

By Robert Isenberg, Contributing Editor

CANDIDE
Thursday, November 5, 2009 through Sunday, November 22, 2009
Candide is a fresh young aristocrat, and he has one motto: Everything happens for a good reason. But how does he explain the massacres, exiles, slavery, torture, house-torching and inquisitions that plague his life? And what could be more hilarious? Voltaire’s Enlightenment satire (of optimism) became a hit operetta in 1956 thanks to Leonard Bernstein’s magnificent score. Broadway standards are a departure for Quantum Theatre, which specializes in experimental and international plays, and I look forward to seeing how this intrepid company adapts this musical masterpiece. Thurs.-Sun., 8 p.m.; Nov. 14 and 21: Sat., 2 p.m.
Tickets: $28-$40; students, $16
(The former Don Allen Auto City building, 5315 Baum Blvd., Shadyside
Ticket phone #: 412/394-3353
Tickets online: quantumtheatre.com)

BLACKBIRD
Saturday, November 7, 2009 through Sunday, December 13, 2009
In Britain, “blackbird” can refer to either A) a creepy avian, or B) an ex-convict. Ray, the con in question, had an affair with the very-underage Una, and now they’re reuniting after years of bitter memories. How will their strange attraction play out? Only two years after Blackbird won a Laurence Olivier Award for “Best New Play,” City Theatre brings this wrenching drama to Pittsburgh. Dates and times vary.
Tickets: $23-$48
(City Theatre, 1300 Bingham St., South Side
Ticket phone #: 412/431-2489
Tickets online: citytheatrecompany.org)

HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING
Saturday, November 21, 2009 at 02:00PM
Saturday, November 21, 2009 at 08:00PM
It’s the mid-1960s, and young execs are cutthroat and witty and love to flirt with their secretaries. But unlike the characters on the hit TV show “Mad Men,” these guys love to sing and dance to jazz tunes too. How to Succeed is by far the peppiest musical ever made about corporate America, thanks to music and lyrics by Frank Loesser. See this production by Carnegie Mellon University’s School of Drama. 
Tickets: $10-$29
(Philip Chosky Theater, Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland
Ticket phone #: 412/268-2407
Tickets online: cmu.edu/cfa/drama)

THE LITTLE FOXES
Thursday, November 12, 2009 through Sunday, December 13, 2009
What would you do to procure a quick $75,000? Incestuous marriage? Negligent manslaughter? Blackmail? Regina Hubbard Giddens is stuck in the middle of an ugly family squabble, and she’s just delighted to thicken this ugly plot. Lillian Hellman’s intense 1939 drama is kind of Southern gothic, demonstrating the destructive power of greed. See this masterful revival at Pittsburgh Public Theater.  Tues.-Fri., 8 p.m.; Sat., 2 and 8 p.m.; Sun., 2 and 7 p.m.; there are no Saturday matinee performances for the first two weeks.
Tickets: $35-$55; guests under 26 years old, $15
(O’Reilly Theater, 621 Penn Ave., downtown
Ticket phone #: 412/316-1600
Tickets online: ppt.org)

GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS
Thursday, November 12, 2009 through Sunday, November 29, 2009
Five guys work in a real-estate office. The company’s downsizing, and somebody’s going to have to “hit the bricks.” David Mamet’s story about salesmen and office infighting is one of the great dramas—and it boasts some of the filthiest language in English letters. The play was practically written for Barebones Productions, the subversive little company that specializes in nail-bitingly tense tragedies. Dates and times vary.
Tickets: $20 in advance; $25 at the door
(New Hazlett Theater, Allegheny Square East, North Side
Ticket phone #: 888-718-2538
Event Website: barebonesproductions.com)

JANE EYRE
Thursday, December 3, 2009 through Sunday, December 20, 2009
Jane has a lot on her plate: As an orphan, she’s routinely locked in the spare room because nobody likes her. She falls in love with the wrong man, sleeps in the moors, changes her name and gets a proposal from a grim clergyman. Could things get any weirder? Just one word: arson. Jane Eyre is the gothic masterpiece of Charlotte Brontë, a novel that’s both creepy and beautiful. Pittsburgh Irish & Classical Theatre presents this deft stage adaptation by Alan Stanford. For people who like to mix a little dark romance with their holiday spirit, Jane Eyre is a perfect escape. Wed.-Sat., 8 p.m.; Sun., 2 p.m. Additional show Tues., Dec. 15, 7 p.m.   
Tickets: $36-$48; guests 25 and under, $17.
(Charity Randall Theatre, Stephen Foster Memorial, University of Pittsburgh, Forbes Avenue and Bigelow Boulevard, Oakland.
Ticket phone #: 412/394-3353
Tickets online: picttheatre.org)

THE QUEENS
Thursday, December 3, 2009 through Sunday, December 13, 2009
If Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn, just imagine the scorn of six different women—especially when each is vying for a throne. Loosely based on Shakespeare’s Richard III, Normand Chaurette’s The Queens concerns an all-female power struggle in a mythic queendom. Fantastical and surreal, The Queens has all kinds of strange characters—from the 99-year-old Duchess of York to Anne Dexter, a princess with no hands. Directed by the inimitable Sheila McKenna, this Playhouse REP production is as un-holiday as they come.Thurs.-Fri., 8 p.m.; Sat., 2 and 8 p.m.; Sun., 2 p.m.  
Tickets: $24-$27.
(Pittsburgh Playhouse, 222 Craft Ave., Oakland
Ticket phone #: 412/621-4445
Tickets online: pittsburghplayhouse.com)

A MUSICAL CHRISTMAS CAROL
Thursday, December 10, 2009 through Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Ebenezer Scrooge is a crabby curmudgeon—until three ghosts visit his bedroom, reminding Scrooge of the past and forcing him to envision a terrible future. Really, it’s the fastest therapy session in history, and the cheapskate doesn’t even have to pay for it. Every year, the Pittsburgh CLO revives A Musical Christmas Carol, and somehow, after all these years, the show just never gets old. Thanks to its cheery musical numbers and surprising special effects, this attraction is a holiday treat for the whole family. Thurs.-Fri., 7:30 p.m.; Sat., 4 and 8 p.m.; Sun., 2 p.m.; see Web site for additional dates and times. 
Tickets: $26.50-$44.50
(Byham Theater, 101 Sixth St., downtown
Ticket phone #: 412/456-6666
Tickets online: pgharts.org)

A LYRICAL CHRISTMAS CAROL
Thursday, December 17, 2009 through Monday, December 21, 2009
In 1991, the husband-and-wife team of Ken and Jane Gargaro decided to compose their own version of A Christmas Carol. Among local thespians, the name Gargaro is legendary thanks to the pair’s lifelong commitment to training musical-theater students. A Lyrical Christmas Carol has since become a holiday tradition, and thousands of families have enjoyed this special local production. Created especially for Pittsburgh Musical Theater, A Lyrical Christmas Carol is a wonderful adaptation of the Charles Dickens classic. Thurs.-Sat., 7:30 p.m.; Sun., 2 p.m.
Tickets: $10-$20
(New Hazlett Theater, Allegheny Square East, North Side
Ticket phone #: 412/539-0900, ext. 232
Event Website: pittsburghmusicals.com))

THE SECOND CITY’S 50TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR
Thursday, December 17, 2009 through Saturday, December 19, 2009
Every comedian wants to join Second City, a Chicago-based academy and performance troupe. This hallowed hall of hilarity has trained comedians in improvisational techniques for half a century, minting one “Saturday Night Live” comic after another. To celebrate its esteemed history, Second City is embarking on a “50th Anniversary Tour,” and because Pittsburgh Public Theater has formed a tight bond with the troupe, Second City and Steel City will combine forces for a three-night holiday performance. But call soon to save your seat—competition over these tickets is no joke.   Thurs.-Fri., 8 p.m.; Sat., 5:30 and 9 p.m.   
Tickets: $28-$48; guests 26 years old and under, $15
(O’Reilly Theater, 621 Penn Ave. Downtown
Ticket phone #: 412/316-1600
Tickets online: ppt.org)